I can explain

Stoicism postponed🤌🏿

When I woke up yesterday morning, while I was about to leave the house, I was a repairman bring in a new cooker and I thought to myself, no “naresare” which actually translates to “tie-heart” which is when a household decide to fast, not for any religious, fitness or medical reason, but because there has been a breakdown in the complex logistics that would have enabled them to prepare a meal. To my greatest surprise, my sister told me it came too late for her to do any preparations and I figured she wasn’t up for it.

Jacky’s timely intervention😋

Jacky called us later that evening to come eat fufu and eru and you know it is punishable by law to say no to fufu. Two of my sister Rian and Princess showed up at about 8 pm for lunch which was very early by their standards. We had a couple of other people join us and it was a pleasant company. Not much was happening and we did the usual drink and talk about our favorite topic which is relationships .There was nothing different from how we normally spent our time and it was looking like it was going to be a normal day

My both nieces hatched a plan to always interrupt which they executed with a lot of accuracy. One of them will knock the door and the other will scream at the top of her voice and when we open the door they start immediately start pointing fingers at each other

On your mark🏃🏿‍♂️

We were about to finish up what was left in our cups and call it a night when the girls were complaining about how marriages were so hard because the expectations for the women have not changed and have actually gotten more challenging because they are not only expected to take care of the house, the kids and the reputation of their family and that of their husbands and his friends, they also have to provide. The men on the other hand have outsourced some of the traditional responsibility to provide to the women.

Get ready 🏎

They complained that the standard for infidelity actually enables the men and shames the women for doing the same act . The men expect them to heal like wolverine and when they don’t, they are actually the problem.

In the middle of this conversation and me filling up my glass, one of my in-laws shows up so say something and a few people toned down their voices so he could join the others to talk over each other and these were his words “Every man cheats”. The room went silent. If you think he stopped there, think again. He then proceeded to say, “I Cheat”. At this point, a few other people stopped talking and now we were paying attention. He did not stop there, he went even further, “my wife knows”. At this point we knew that it was time to go home, but guess what, he was not done. He added “If she finds out and gets mad, I will book a holiday for her in a foreign country.

Go💨

At this point, we were all quiet and looked around if any other person just heard what we heard, and then we realized his wife was in the room with us. He has a cooking spoon in her hand and it looked like a murder weapon for a split second. That would not have been a good way to go out. Killed by a spoon?. We are now looking at his wife, partly waiting for a reaction and partly bracing to intervene incase she decided to give the spoon an alternative application.

It felt for a second that Siri asked youtube to pause the song that was playing. My sister responded, and she did not disappoint. She responded “it is ok for men(her husband) to cheat and I am not remotely concerned about that. “. Now nobody is saying anything, and I just picked up the rest of the alcoholic beverage and relocated. This is not how these conversations normally go, but this one took and unusual twist. It was about 2pm and we were ready to leave. Mind you this is when my sisters Princess and Rian normally show up

I’ll Weigh in📝

On one of my blog posts, I spoke about polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous is being in a relationship with multiple partners. It differs from cheating in that there is the agreement from the jump that you guys will be able to see other people. I think that the ways we relate to each other has evolved a lot. Relationships now are not only down to the binary options of monogamy and polygamy. People are now finding their voices and they value the ability to express themselves without being judged. I don’t think that we should project onto other what we believe is the ideal way of going about our business. I could be looking at the very first polyamorous people I know. I will have to do more research on that and improve my tolerance with that regard

After the storm, comes the Hurricane🌀

I arrived home at 4am, and at 9 am, I was up for my morning run, and I decided to crack 7.5km today. I came back and my sisters Keys and Liz had not recovered from what they heard the previous day. They were in total disbelief for the fear that this thing which once sounded like a taboo is now talked about openly in family gatherings and a part of them just wonders if and when it would happen to them. They sounded exhausted and doubled down on what they were saying for the most part of the night “Marriage is hard”. I don’t know if this is the right time to drop the quote that says everything you want is on the other side of hard. That is all I had for them. I’ll try to get more next time.