Hard is all too common

Singleness problem 🧑🏿‍🎤

It sometimes feels like company is overly glorified and romanticised, while spending time alone demonized and discouraged. If we don’t learn how to be good company by ourselves, we can hardly be good company for others. We should learn how to be single and then being in a relationship will be a lot easier for our partners. Learning how to pleasure ourselves might take away the need to completely outsource this huge responsibility of our wellbeing to others. It is often easy to throw around words like self love as though we are entitled to love ourselves. We are so attracted to value so much that if we don’t do the work to create value, we would find it hard to love ourselves. We should be able to articulate what makes us special without making shit up that is factually inaccurate. Platitudes like “I know I am the smartest person in the world even if you nobody agrees” is something that will only go as far. The effort should come before the recognition. The moment we start to create a false sense of value and put the effort into believing it, we are setting ourselves up for an unpleasant experience

The reason why we prefer people who are independent for good company which is very ironical

Effort🏋🏿‍♂️

My understanding as to why we admire people who go to the gym, or wear make up is because we are inherently attracted to effort. The people who do well in school are often given preferential treatment by the educators. There are other factors that clearly influence our values which are beyond our control. What we have control over is the effort we put in to increase our value currency

The care paradox 💜

On one hand, it is important to quiet the noise around you to stay focused, but on the other hand, it is important to pay attention to the people who are very critical of us as they might help us improve. The question often arises on being ourselves, as opposed to being a better version of ourselves. Our authentic being is important for our identity and self worth, while our dynamism is important for our progress and value to our community